


Loneliness is not lack of company; it is lack of purpose.

by szra_mix



Category: Barry (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Loneliness, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22685305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szra_mix/pseuds/szra_mix
Summary: Barry is not a lonely man. It’s just occurs that people surrounding him have no interest in spending time with him or caring about him.
Kudos: 19





	Loneliness is not lack of company; it is lack of purpose.

It was an ordinary day. Friday, the seventh of January. Most of the people passing by were smiling, happy that the weekend started, chatting and meeting with their friends or relatives. Yeah, friends and family. Barry sat on the bench near the theatre, rubbing his face furiously. Sometimes he wondered why he even did this anymore. He had no talent, no spark, no...nothing. Sally made it clear, Gene made it clear, everyone staring at him with dumb smiles and mocking in their eyes made it clear. It was supposed to be a genuinely simple scene to do. Just a few words to be said and that's it. Yet again, he couldn't do it. He tried acting it out at home, Sally being his partner, but what could've he possibly got from practice when the woman threw the stack of papers at him after reading halfway through the script. He asked mister Cousineau for help, but the man turned down the plea almost immediately, telling him he didn't have time for such bullshit. Fuches was out of reach and Hank was busy with the mafia and entertaining Cristobal. One thought shot across his mind but he chose to shove it away. That wasn't true. He had friends but they were just busy. They had their shit to deal with and they hadn't had time to spend on him. Still, the sight of other people having such a good time together made his heart clench and hurt for some reason. He was aware that he was awkward and social interactions weren't his strong side but it never meant he hadn't wanted to go out or be close with someone. He wasn't an envious person but the lack of any real bond with anyone was tearing him from the inside. He had Monroe but Fuches was...weird with the level of importance Barry had to him. He was always there if he needed to take someone down or trade Barry's skills for his own advances. Sally loved talking with him when he was praising her and telling how amazing she was. Okay, he was cold sometimes but he cared so much about people he somehow knew and approved. And...no one seemed to care about him...not for the person he was, not without any purpose of using him. He hasn't even noticed the sunset approached. The darkness of the evening surrounded him and he felt it swallowing him. His lungs had forgotten how to work, emptying themselves far too quickly. No matter how many breaths he had taken, there was never enough air to help him. The world around him blurred, lights from the moving cars and street lanterns blinding him. He heard someone's voice and it was way too similar to one of his friends he had shot right in the head. It changed to woman's one, a police officer's, then to a begging cry for mercy from the Afghanistan war victims.

“Please no...not again...”

The whole pallet of feelings coming and going through him made him dizzy and he knew how close he was to pass out. He closed his eyes, waiting for the calm and safe unconsciousness to finally take him away. 


End file.
